The Sounds of Silence
by Ranguvar27
Summary: Nostalgia Critic is having a bad day. Okay, a bad life. He still remembers his time as the Universe, and it's causing him to become detached from everything. All that changes when he runs into a strange, beautiful woman who is more than she appears to be.
1. Chapter 1

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, OC, Various members of CA

Rating: PG 13 for now

Genre: AU/Science Fiction

Summary: Critic wants more out of life. He runs into a woman that seems to be exactly what he's looking for. There's just one slight problem...

Chapter One: Escape and Meeting

Sirens blared through the prison compound, sending lances of pain through the skulls of everyone within earshot. Lights flashed in staccato bursts, their patterns designed to cause nausea and disorientation and quell any ideas of escape. The inmates of Prison Planet 29213 were the dregs of Society, the castoff rejects of a world that had achieved Utopia. The 'physically and mentally deficient' were sent here to rot away in isolation while the rest of Society carried on quite nicely without them. Escape was near impossible, even without the alarms and lights. Planet 29213 was a Dead World, its atmosphere a deadly mix of ammonia and carbon dioxide. Only a few inmates had managed to get more than one hundred feet outside before choking to death on the poison air. Guards, visitors(what few there were) and the Warden traveled to and from the Planet via 'jump-holes', small pockets of space/time that allowed a person to go from one planet to another in the time it took to walk down a corridor. Any prisoner attempting to jump was shot on sight.

But that didn't mean that they stopped trying. Prisoner 34213, a young woman of about 32 years with close-cropped blue-green hair and dark blue eyes, had been sent to The Planet, as it was called, when she was twenty and her 'deficiency' had become public knowledge. She had attempted escape thirteen times since and was considered a High Risk, her cell constantly monitored by cameras and guarded by no more than five guards at a time. She glared at them in silent, defiant rage. They stared back, uncomfortable with her 'flaw'.

'Bastards. I'm going to get out of here, and there's not a goddam thing you can do about it.' She stuck her hands in the pockets of her prison uniform, fingering the small metal object she had managed to lift from a Visitor. She knew the dangers of opening a jump hole without having exact coordinates, but anything had to be better than rotting away in this poisonous Hell.

The lights flashed three times then went out, followed by the sirens. A guard came forward and tapped twice against the clear wall of her prison, leering at her. "Bedtime, dummy." She smiled sweetly at him, and he snorted. "Dumb bitch doesn't understand a word I say."

34213's smile turned hard, and before any of the guards could react she pulled the 'jump-hole' creator out of her pocket and slammed it hard against the back wall. A Door opened, its swirling blackness making her nerves falter for a millisecond before she closed her eyes and dove through.

Nostalgia Critic sighed as he turned down the street leading to the studio. Lately he'd been...out of it. He just seemed to be going through the motions of reviewing and living. Rob had put it pretty well when he told Critic "You're turning into a damn zombie, and not the kind that eats brains." Critic couldn't deny this, and he had told Rob that he would try to find things to make his life more interesting, but really, after being the Universe, what was left for him? He still remembered it, still had flashes of his time in The Plot Hole. He had seen and experienced so much. Some of it was good, some of it caused him to have screaming awake nightmares for months(and considering he had become inured to his twin's perverse mind, that was saying something). In desperation he had gone to Linkara to ask for a spell to erase his memory of his...imprisonment, but the magician/reviewer had warned him that such a spell would likely cause more damage than it would heal. Eventually, the nightmares trickled off, but never fully died down. Last night's had been a doozy, and Critic woke up in a cold sweat.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the young woman appear in front of his car until it was too late. "SHIT!" He yanked the wheel hard to one side, sending his car into a tailspin, and sideswiping the woman, who went flying into the nearby ditch.

Critic's car shuddered to a stop on the side of the road. He unbuckled his belt with shaking hands and got out, dodging traffic as he dashed across the street. "Shit shit shit shit!" He climbed down into the ditch and knelt beside the woman. She wasn't moving, her eyes were tightly closed, and she was covered in blood. "Oh, no. Please don't be dead." He placed his fingers on her neck, wondering briefly what sort of uniform she had on and why she had dyed her hair that peculiar shade, and was relieved to feel a faint but steady pulse.

He was about to call 911 when her eyes flew open.


	2. The Naming of Names

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, OC, Various members of CA

Genre: Science Fiction/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Critic wanted more out of life. But as the saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for."

Chapter Two: The Naming of Names

It was hard to say who was more shocked. Critic yelped, slipped, and tripped over his own feet, landing on his butt and rucking his shirt up his back. The woman scrambled backwards, her eyes wide with shock and terror. She hit the muddy edge of the ditch and struggled in vain to find purchase, panting in horror.

Critic's voice returned to him, and he held his hands out in a placating gesture. Whoever this woman was, it was clear she was scared out of her mind. "Hey, calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you." She narrowed her eyes at him, and he smiled in what he hoped was a calming manner. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" She looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook her head. "Oh, good, because...umm...I hit you, right?" Another shake of her head. She got to her knees and fell backwards. Critic blinked in confusion. "Sorry, I'm lost." She repeated the movement. "You...saying you managed to get out of the way?" The woman nodded eagerly. "Oh. Well, why not just say that?"

She gulped, tears forming in her eyes as she placed her hand over her throat and shook her head. 'Now comes the part where he calls Central and has me returned to The Planet.' The young man(he was kind of cute in a dorky way, she noted to herself) looked puzzled for a second, then his eyes widened in understanding.

"Are you a mute?"

A fearful nod.

"Oh. Well...my name's Cr...Doug. Can you tell me yours?"

She looked around the ditch and found a stick by her left foot. Clearing away some mud, she wrote in straggling letters, 'SERENA'. 'Gods, it's been forever...'

"It's nice to meet you, Serena." She gave him a half smile, wincing in pain. "If I didn't hit you, where did the blood come from?" She made a gun with her fingers. "You were shot?!" She lifted her shirt up, and now he could see the ragged wound where the bullet had grazed her. "You need to go to the hospital!"

Serena made an odd choking sound and shook violently, her breath coming in short pants.

"Okay, so no hospital. I could have a friend of mine patch you up. He's crazy, but he's a legit doctor. Would that be alright?" A shrug, and Critic sighed. "Right." He pulled out his phone and dialed Linkara's number, Serena watching him. "Hey, it's me. Is the Doc there? I've got a patient for him. Great! Yeah, just bring us both." Critic hung up and scooted over to Serena, taking her hands in his. "This may feel weird." There was a bright flash and a loud whooshing sound. Serena screamed silently, her grip on Critic's hands becoming painful.

The light and noise faded, and Serena found herself in a small abode facing a strange looking man in a trenchcoat and goggles. She looked around, then fainted dead away.

Linksano knelt beside her. "Who in the name of Tesla is this?" Critic sighed.

"All I know is her name's Serena, and she's been shot. Can you patch her up?"

Linksano nodded. "Help me get her onto the couch." They lifted her onto the cushions, then Linksano snapped open his bag and began to work, pushing Serena's shirt up so he could clean and patch up the wound.

"Bullet wound is superficial, a through and through. Interesting material on the uniform. Looks like cotton, but feels almost like...flexible steel. She's got a lot of old scars. Whoever this woman is, she's been pretty badly abused. There's...something on her left arm." Linksano turned her arm so he could see. Critic frowned.

"Looks like a barcode. Odd thing to have tattooed."

Linksano shook his head. "It's not a tattoo, it's a tag. I've seen this before. She's a prisoner, and if she's from what planet I think she's from, she's damn lucky to have escaped. Does she have any...disabilities?"

"She's mute, does that count?"

Linksano nodded. "To those twisted bastards, yes. She's from Utopia." He finished taping the bandage. "Utopia is a very nice planet, so long as you meet the Standards. No physical or mental defects, no aberrations, no nonconformity. I landed there when I was universe hopping trying to escape Vyce, and I barely managed to avoid imprisonment. It's the very embodiment of the phrase too much of a good thing." Linksano reached in his pocket and brought out a capsule, snapping it in half under Serena's nose. Her eyes opened and she coughed. "Are you Utopian?" She nodded, and he smiled. "Welcome to Earth."

Serena's eyes widened in shocked amazement. Not only had her jumping been successful, but she had also managed to make it to the one planet that she had always longed to see. Her jaw dropped, and she pointed to herself, then towards the wall. Critic caught the gist pretty quickly.

"Yeah, you're on Earth. Specifically, you're in Minnesota, the United States, in my friend Linkara's apartment. Who...doesn't seem to be here right now."

"He's gone shopping. Even magicians have to eat." Linksano offered Serena his hand. "I'm Dr. Linksano. Critic says your name is Serena?" She smiled and nodded, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Serena grinned at him, then gingerly sat up and motioned for Critic to come sit next to her. He complied, and she gave him a brief, tight hug. "Umm...you're welcome?" Serena released him, and he looked into her eyes for the first time.

"Wow. You have...very nice eyes."

Serena blushed. Critic was mesmerized.

Linksano cleared his throat, looking amused. "Before you get lost in her depths, Critic, I think we should ask her what she's doing here." He turned at the sound of a key in a lock. "And, the Hero just got home. I'm going to fill him in." Linksano exited the room.

Critic tuned out the rather loud conversation coming from the front hall and found a pen and notepad, handing them to Serena. "If you want to...communicate." She grinned at him in gratitude, then uncapped the pen and wrote.

'Hello.'

"Hi."

'The man with the strange name called you Critic, but you introduced yourself as Doug.'

Critic laughed. "Critic is...more of a title. My real name is Doug." Serena made an "O" of comprehension.

'Like mine is Serena. It was the name given to me at my birthing, because I was so quiet and serene. My parents did not discover my default until I reached my tenth year. It was a blow to them, as they were both Upstanding Citizens.'

"Being mute isn't really a default. You're obviously smart."

Serena smiled bitterly, her pen flying across the paper.

'My parents were of the Upper Strata, so they interacted with me very rarely. I was raised by a series of Nanny Bots and given every luxury except affection and time. When it was discovered that my muteness was permanent and not just something that would go away, my father was all for sending me to The Planet. But Mother somehow managed to convince him to hide me away. When I reached twenty, however, I had to go to Central for Registration. Each Citizen of Utopia is assigned a tag.'

"Like the one you have?"

'No. Mine is a prison tag. One of the...requirements to be Registered is passing of an oral exam. I couldn't speak, so I was deemed Defective and sent to The Planet. I'd been there twelve years when I escaped. I also tested as having an IQ of 245, which is far too intelligent for Central. They don't like that sort of thing They much prefer...less intelligent citizens.'

"How come?"

'Less chance of any rebellious behavior.' Serena looked around as the strange named man(Linksano, his name was Linksano) came into the room, followed by another young man in a brown jacket and fedora. She waved, and he waved back before looking at Critic.

"So, a mute alien woman. You were saying something about wanting something interesting to happen?"


	3. The Perfections of Imperfection

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, OC, various members of CA

Rating: PG for this chapter

Warnings: None

Genre: Science Fiction/Romance

Summary: Critic wanted a more interesting life. He's about to get it.

Chapter Three: The Perfections of Imperfection.

Serena turned her face to the sky, marveling at how incredibly blue it was. She curled her bare toes in the warm grass, a delighted grin on her face. Critic watched her, smiling. He had called Rob and told him an abridged version of what had happened, leaving out the whole 'alien' bit. His brother had been relieved that no one had been hurt, and told Critic that he'd hold down the fort as long as possible. Serena had insisted on going outside and seeing what this place looked like. Critic hadn't been too sure about her moving around after being hurt, but Linksano had assured him that her people had accelerated healing abilities in relation to humans. It took a lot to keep a Utopian down for any length of time. Serena had nodded in agreement and practically skipped outside.

Serena knelt down and placed her hand on the ground, marveling at how different every blade of grass was. She could smell a rich, living scent all around her, and the chorus of birdsong, insect chirpings, and the low, steady hum of the Earth sent a thrill of ecstasy through her. Not being able to speak made her so much more aware of how so much could be said without words. She looked around and saw a tapestry of stories being woven, a beautiful panorama of perfect imperfection.

She took a long, deep breath of pure, clear oxygen. The air on The Planet had been canned, full of air-induced drugs to make the prisoners compliant(which hadn't worked on her, much to the consternation of The Warden). This air made her feel alive for the first time in years. She felt the sun's warmth soak into her skin. Warm. It was so warm. After years of cold and dark, now there was light and warmth. If she could, she would have shouted in joy. But she settled for twirling around, a wide, delighted smile lighting up her face.

Critic watched her spinning and laughed to himself. Linkara, who was also watching, smiled. "It's amazing the sort of things you and I take for granted. She's spent her entire life cooped up, abandoned and disgraced because of something she was born with, and now she's free. It's got to be a wonderful feeling."

Serena skipped over to Critic and grabbed his hands, pulling him off the patio and onto the yard. He blinked at her in slight confusion. "What?" She tugged his hand, bouncing on the balls of her feet, and pulled again. Linkara laughed.

"I do believe the lady is asking you to dance with her."

Serena nodded eagerly, and Critic blanched. "I...umm...I don't really da..." His protests were cut short by Serena spinning him around. Critic yelped and nearly tripped, but managed to keep his balance, laughing. "You're crazy!" Serena grinned and shrugged, and Critic shook his head in amusement. "Fine, I'll dance with you." Serena bounced in happiness before leading Critic on a whirling tour of the yard.

They finally collapsed in a heap under a tree, Critic panting. "You've...got a lot of energy. Must be because you were cooped up for so long." Serena nodded, her face dark. "The...planet you come from, what's it like? Linksano gave me a brief idea, but I'd like your version."

Serena pulled her notebook and pen out of her pocket, then looked down and grimaced at her prison duds. She made a 'wait one second' sign, then much to Critic's shock, shucked off her shirt and pants, tossing them over her shoulder. He blinked, trying to form coherent words at the sight of this suddenly naked(and, a part of his anatomy was thinking, very, very good looking) woman. "Umm...uhh...you know you're naked, right?"

Serena nodded, then flipped the notebook over to a blank page and began writing. Critic, for his part, was just glad that none of Linkara's neighbors were outside. He could only imagine the heart attack the comic geek was having.

'Utopia is in the Rigeles Sector, about 2.4 light years away from what you would call Jupiter. It's a green planet, meaning that it creates its own oxygen through plants, much like here, which is why I'm able to breathe Earth's air. We have two large oceans, five continents(two of which are habitable) and three seasons: Greenas(Spring), Madereal(Summer/Autumn) and Burras(Winter.) Primary language is Utopian, but the majority of us can also speak and understand English. (Rheda sentensia ballah Utopia-this is a sentence in Utopian). The planet itself is beautiful, but the people...they are what make it a hellhole. The Government(or as we call it, Central Council) is fanatic in its belief that to live on a planet named 'Perfection', you must also be perfect. At first, those born with imperfections were simply euthanized, but later a 'more cost-effective' method was found. Now they're sent to camps, and if their flaws aren't 'cured'(usually through torture), they're sent to a prison planet. I was somewhat lucky in that I was able to hide my flaw until I had to be publicly registered.'

I'm also an anomaly in another way.' She pointed to her hair. Critic blinked and forced himself to focus on her head and not her...chest. "That's your natural color?"

Serena nodded. 'Most Utopians are born with either blue or green hair. It's extremely rare to have both colors combine, and even rarer for it to be this dark.'

"What about your eyes?"

'Those are normal, just slightly darker.'

"Oh. Umm...does everyone go around naked?"

Serena fell back on the grass, mouth open in silent laughter. She sat up and shook her head, still grinning. 'No. I was just tired of wearing that horrible outfit. Am I making you uncomfortable?'

"Nooo... but it was surprising. You seemed pretty at ease about it." Critic grinned at her. "But it is considered more proper to wear clothes when out in public."

'Then I'll have to find some clothes.'


	4. Strange Customs

Sounds of Silence Chapter 4

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, OC, other members of CA

Genre: Science Fiction/Romance

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: None, unless you count a very flustered Linkara.

Chapter Four: "You Have Strange Customs on this planet."

There was a loud rumbling sound, and Serena looked up, startled. The sky, that had once been blue, was turning a strange color, one she didn't like. She felt her skin prickle, and shivered. Critic looked at her. "You OK?" Serena shuddered, pointing at the sky with a fearful expression. Critic looked up. "Oh, yeah. Looks like it's about to storm. We'd better get inside." Serena cocked her head at him in confusion. "Storm. You know, rain?" A confused shake of the head. "Wait, you don't know what rain is?" Another shake. "Oh. Um..." Critic paused, trying to think of how to explain. "It's...water, that falls from the sky."

'Why?'

"Umm...well...it just...does."

'And...you have to seek shelter during it?'

"Yeah, usually."

'Does it cause injuries?'

Critic laughed. "No, nothing like that. It's just...something we do." Serena frowned at him.

'So if it does not cause injuries, why seek shelter? Seems odd to me. But if you wish to go back into the domicile, I won't be upset.' Critic nodded.

"Yeah. I'm going inside before the skies open up." He reached over and patted her shoulder. "I'll leave the back door open just in case." He went inside, and nearly died of laughter at the look on Linkara's face. "What's wrong, hero? Never seen a naked woman before?"

Linkara sputtered at him. "O...of course I have! But...not one that was so...um..."

"Fleshy?" Critic snarked. Linkara glared daggers at him.

"I was going to say bold about flaunting her body. She needs to learn our customs a little better if she's going to blend in."

"What on earth makes you think she wants to blend in?" Critic asked incredulously. "Sometimes I wish I could go back to being what I was."

Linkara looked out at the pouring rain before turning back to Critic."You mean unable to have any sort of genuine human interaction, trapped in a Purgatory of your own making?"

"I mean not having nightmares every single night, not being able to connect on any sort of real emotional level with anyone, including my own brother, and simply existing because I'm too much of a damn coward to just end it." Critic looked at Linkara, his eyes bleak. "As much of a hell the Plot Hole was, at least there I had some measure of control over my life. Here, I have nothing. Do you have any idea what it's like to know that for one single, shining moment, you were the most important thing in creation, and now you're just...normal? Or to know exactly how vast the suffering in the Universe is, and not be able to do anything when before you could?"

Linkara placed his hand on Critic's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "No, I don't. But what I do know is that you are here, not there. Even if it was just because you couldn't handle the power. Then again, who knows what might have happened if you could? Maybe you would have gone power-mad and wrecked the whole universe."

Critic sighed. "No, I wouldn't have. That's what...He told me when we met. That I'd changed. That the person I was, I wasn't anymore. I've almost decided to forgive the bastard for giving me the memory of being Donnie. Though I sometimes wish he didn't give me his name."

Linkara nodded, still not entirely sure he understood the whole Creator/Character conflict that Critic was going through. "Right. Well, umm..." There was a blinding flash of lightning and a titanic crash of thunder.

The next thing Critic knew, Serena was in his arms, eyes wide in terror as she shook like a leaf. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "Jesus, you're freezing! Linkara, could you get her a towel? And something to wear?" Linkara nodded and headed to the bathroom. Critic rubbed Serena's back. "So now do you see why we go inside during storms?" She looked up at him and nodded once. "Where's your notebook?" Serena looked down, shamefaced. Critic smiled at her. "It's okay, I'm sure we can find another one for you."

Linkara came back with a towel and a robe. "Here. It's Harvey's, but I don't think he'll mind. It may be a bit big, though." Critic took the robe and draped it over the futon before taking the towel. He gently rubbed Serena's hair before wrapping her up.

"There, that's better. Let's get you dried off and warmed up." He rubbed her arms gently, and gradually her fearful look relaxed into one of comfort and her skin began to warm. "Feel better?" Serena nodded, and he grinned. "Great, but now let's get that robe on you." He eased her arms into the folds, tying it as close as he could. "Look at you, you're swimming in it!" He teased her, and she blushed. "Still you do look very nice in silk." Critic turned to Linkara. "I'm assuming that's what the robe is made of?"

"What else?" Linkara laughed. "You don't think Harvey would have an ordinary bathrobe, do you?" Critic was about to answer when Nimue's voice came through the ceiling, making Serena press herself against him.

VISITOR IN FRONT HALL.

"Thank you, Nimue." Linkara said. "Who is it?"

THE OLDER BROTHER OF THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC. I FELT HE SHOULD BE HERE TO CHECK ON HIM.

"Linkara, can't you tell that goddam AI of yours to not be so noisy? You're scaring Serena!" Critic glared at the magician, and Linkara nodded.

"Nimue, did you hear that? Modulate your voice, please."

 _I apologize if I caused any undue fear._

"It's OK." Critic sighed, then raised his voice. "Rob, we're in here." Serena turned just enough so she could see the new stranger that came into the room.

He looked...nice. Not as handsome as Doug, a part of her thought, but he looked like someone who could be trusted. He was wearing a shirt and blue jeans, and his face was full of concern and not a small bit of exasperation. "What did you do this time, Doug? And who is she?"

Critic bit his lip. "Umm remember I told you I had run into someone this morning?" Rob nodded. "Well, umm...I didn't tell you the whole story. But first, introductions. Serena, this is Rob, my brother. Rob, this is Serena."

Rob held out his hand. Serena stared at it, then back at Doug. "Shake it." A frown, then a shrug, and Doug and Linkara burst into laughter when Serena literally shook Rob's hand. "OK, that's enough. Let go."

Rob, to his credit, recovered pretty quickly. "So, where are you from?" Serena pointed upwards. "I don't get you." A huffy expression, and a single, sharp jab skyward once more. Rob looked over at Critic. "I'm lost."

Critic rolled his eyes. "She's saying she's from outer space."

Rob blinked, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He raised his hand, then dropped it. "Are you screwing with me?"

Critic shook his head. "No, I'm telling you the truth. Oh, and she's also mute."

Rob nodded. "Of course she is. Because you can't meet a normal girl, you have to meet a mute alien. Doug, I know I said you needed to meet someone, but I thought at least you'd stay in the solar system."

"It isn't like that, Rob! She's been...she was..." Critic sat on the futon, gently pulling Serena down with him. "I don't really know if I can tell it." Serena nodded at him, and he motioned for Rob to sit. "Well, here goes."

After Critic was done, Rob looked over at Serena in sympathy. "That must have been terrible. OK, Doug, so maybe your motivations are pure,and Lord knows you don't have to worry about me. What do you think will happen to her if she runs into Guy?"

Doug's face became darker than Rob had ever seen it. "If he touches her, I will kill him."

Rob laughed. "Right, and you're not attracted to her. This is just you being a nice person."

Doug blushed. "Shut up."


	5. She's in WHAT!

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, OC, members of CA

Genre: Science Fiction/Romance

Warnings: None

Rating: PG 13 for this chapter

Summary: Critic wants more out of life. He's about to get his wish in the form of a beautiful young woman from beyond the stars.

Note: A rudelorhino is a Utopian animal that is sort of like a cross between a rhino and a grizzly bear. They're very big, and very mean.

Chapter Five: She's in WHAT?!

 **We bring you first to Utopia**

The Warden of the Prison Planet was nervous. No, he thought to himself, not nervous. Scared out of his mind. He had received the Order to appear before the Council three days after the prisoner escaped, and had spent the subsequent time in between alternately praying that he'd be allowed to keep his head and hoping it would all turn out to be an elaborate training exercise. Now he sat in the pristine white room that was the Council Hall, staring up at the fifteen men and women that governed the entire planet of Utopia. They stared impassively back at him, their stark white uniforms making their pale faces and dark hair stand out even more. The Council member on the far left spoke, her voice flat and toneless. "Warden, do you have an explanation for how a highly dangerous prisoner managed to get her hands on a Jumper?"

"Well, umm...we believe that she may have picked the pocket of a Visitor some few weeks back."

There were low murmurings, and another member spoke. He had the same flat, toneless voice. "And why did you not do a body search of the prisoner?"

The Warden winced. "Sir, the one time we tried doing a body search on her she put seven guards in the hospital."

"Could you not have tranquilized her and then conducted the search?"

The Warden shook his head. "The calming drugs have no effect on her. We can't figure out why. We once shot her up with enough Calmative to knock out a rudelorhino. She managed to break a doctor's arm and climb halfway over the prison wall before being subdued."

A third Council member spoke. "It's clear that your prison is in dire need of change. The fact that you cannot keep an ordinary Defect caged..."

The Warden sat up straighter. "With all due respect, Madam, she is not an ordinary Defect. She has an IQ that cannot be measured by any standards we have, is alarmingly quick at learning how to fight, and has the ability to adapt to survive. Wherever she is, I can promise it will not be easy to bring her back."

The councilwoman's face changed from passive to vulpine. "Well, you'll get the chance to find out. She's on Earth, and you leave with the Retrieval Team tomorrow. We estimate that due to the time differential, she's been there at least two weeks. Good bye, Warden, and if you do not return with the Defect, you will take her place."

The Warden turned as white as the room.

 **Now back to Earth, where strange things are happening**

"Serena, what in the world is **wrong** with you?!" Critic asked, staring in shock at his...friend? Girlfriend?(Well, they hadn't kissed yet, but they'd snuggled once and it had been very nice). He had become pretty adept at understanding her by her expressions, the way her eyes lit up, and the movement of her body. But now, he was completely flummoxed.

Serena had been acting strange all day. She was staring at him in a way that made him both uncomfortable and slightly horny. She would rub her entire body against his like a cat, and make strange purring sighs deep in her throat. A few times she had even nipped at his neck, making a sighing noise that sent his hormones into overdrive. Critic was just happy that she hadn't shucked off the sundress she was wearing. He would have been happy to reciprocate her affections(Lord knows he'd had plenty of very...vivid dreams about her) were it not for the fact that her eyes were blank and glassy. It was that that was freaking him out to no end. She didn't seem to have any control over what she was doing, and he had not sunk so low that he would take advantage of a woman who was clearly not in control of herself.

"Serena, you need to pull yourself together, okay? You're kinda freaking me out here!" He placed himself behind his chair, in the hopes that putting a barrier between them would calm her down. She cocked her head at him, then grabbed the chair in one hand and with a flick of her wrist sent it flying across the room. "HOLY HELL!" Serena licked her lips in the most wanton way he had ever seen, and advanced on him. He yelped, and ran into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

"I cannot believe this." He needed to get some answers, and get them fast... he could hear Serena banging on the bathroom door. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts. "C'mon, answer...Hey Linksano!"

"There had better be a phenomenally good reason for calling me, Critic."

"Um, yeah, there is. Serena's acting...really odd."

"Odd how?"

"She...keeps throwing herself at me, and making these weird...sounds. Her eyes are kinda glassy, too."

"Is her body temperature higher than normal?"

Critic thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, yeah. Is she sick?"

Linksano cackled. "No, she's...in estrus."

"Es..what?"

Linksano sighed in exasperation. "For the love of Tesla! Heat, Critic! She's in heat!"

"She's in WHAT?!" Critic yelped as the door splintered inward and Serena advanced on him. "Linksano, how do I calm her down?!"

"Have you tried cold water?"

"Right! Cold water. Umm...bye!" Critic hung up, then turned the shower on full blast, making sure it was all the way over on the cold side. He grabbed Serena, shoving her under the torrent, and she keened in shock and tried to escape. He held on, and gradually her eyes cleared. She shuddered mightily, then gave him a weak smile. "You okay now?" A nod. "Good."

A few moments later, dried and calmed, Serena sat next to him on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder and her notebook in her lap. 'Thank you.'

"For what, not taking advantage of you? You're welcome."

'Not just for that. For understanding that when this happens, I can't control myself. It was...very different on The Planet. The guards would...' she paused in her writing as memories welled up.

Critic had a pretty good idea of what she meant. "God, Serena, I am so sorry."

Serena kissed him on the cheek, then wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her close, stroking her back. "I promise, I will never, never do what they did. I will never hurt you in any way."

'Do you find me pleasing to the eye?'

"You're gorgeous."

Serena blushed to the roots of her hair.


	6. Shelter from the Storm

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Nostalgia Critic. Serena, Rob

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: Slightly traumatized Critic.

Summary: Can be found on other chapters.

Chapter Six: Shelter from the Storm

 _He could feel them. He could feel all of them. Every single person, every single...being, everything that lived. He could feel them. Felt their love, their joy, their pain, their hatred, their agony, everything. He was everyone, he was everything, and it was beautiful and it was magical and god he could feel every goddamn fucking thing and he tried to make the hurts stop, but more kept coming and coming and he felt worlds die in fire and water and stars burn(he'd never known before that stars screamed when they died, a high pitched sound that drove through his soul and left him shaking and sick) and he tried oh God he tried to make it stop to keep the universe stable but his brain was getting battered and beaten and stretched and he screamed in the silence, screamed and screamed and screamed and..._

"DOUG!" Rob shook his brother hard, trying to wake him from yet another nightmare. Doug was thrashing wildly, eyes a blank white, his entire body shaking as he screamed at a volume that made Rob wince. He always felt so helpless when Doug was in the grip of his nightmares, unable to do anything but shake and scream his brother awake. And then watch helplessly after as Doug shook and sobbed, curled up in a fetal position. Rob had tried to offer comfort once, but Doug had thrashed out, nearly drawing blood. Now he just waited for Doug to come back to some semblance of sanity.

The sound of running footsteps made him look up. Serena stood in the open doorway, eyes wide as she took in the scene. She looked over at Rob, then back at Doug, who was still screaming, his entire body thrashing in the depths of his nightmare. Serena walked towards the bed and gestured for Rob to stand up. He sighed. "I don't know what you think you can do, but you're welcome to try." He got up, and Serena took his place, putting her hands on Doug's temple.

Rob watched as she stroked Doug's temple, her eyes fixed on his and a low, steady hum coming from her throat. Serena wasn't able to speak, but she could make some sounds. Doug's screaming stopped, and Rob noticed with relief that his eyes were back to normal. Doug released a breath that went through his entire body, then gaped at Serena before falling into her arms and sobbing harder than Rob had ever seen him.

Serena held him tightly, crooning reassurances in his ear. Rob smiled to himself and decided to leave the lovebirds alone.

Doug sniffled and swiped at his eyes. "I...Serena, god you have no idea..." She placed her fingers under his chin and gently lifted his face until he was looking into her eyes. He knew what that look meant. 'Tell me.' "I don't know if I can. I don't even know where to start." Serena held up a finger. "Right, at the beginning. But I'm not even sure what the beginning is. I suppose it all started when Mai Ti died..."

And then it was all spilling out, everything that had happened on The Exit Strategy, on Europa, everything he had done and his decision to take on the Plot Hole to keep everyone alive. How at first all that power had been wonderful, and he had done his best to keep things on an even keel. But how gradually the pressure had become too much, and he had become Donnie to keep from going insane. But then he had found out the truth again, and been yanked back into the 'real world.' "But that bastard didn't tell me that I'd still remember everything, that the nightmares would creep up on me night after night. He didn't tell me that I'd never feel fully human again." Doug looked down at his hands, then back up into Serena's beautiful blue eyes. "I guess we've both been in prisons. But mine was self-made. I've been in it a long, long time." Serena cupped his face in her hands, then leaned up and kissed him lingeringly on the forehead. He sighed in comfort, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You're the first really good thing that has happened to me in a long time."

Serena smiled at him in agreement. Doug looked back down at the covers. "If you want to go back to bed, I should be okay. I'm sure you must be tired." Serena shook her head, pointing at herself and then at the pillow. Doug let out a loud sigh of relief. "I was afraid if I asked, you'd say no. Well, not say, because well, you can't say anything, but..." Serena placed her hand over his mouth, grinning. "Right. Shutting up now. You know, for someone who can't talk, you can sure say a lot." Serena shrugged.

Doug lay back down, pulling Serena with him. She snuggled up to his chest, wrapped her arms around him, and drifted off to sleep. Doug watched her sleep for a few moments, gently stroking her cheek. He kissed her, then whispered softly in her ear.

"I love you."


	7. A Party in the Ocean

Sounds of Silence

Characters: Serena, Nostalgia Critic, Rob, other CA producers, various OC s

Warnings: None

Rating: PG

Summary: Nostalgia Critic has found the woman of his dreams. So what if she's from beyond the stars?

Note: After the last angsty chapter, here's some humor. Hope people are still reading.

Chapter Seven: A Party in the Ocean and an Ocean of Parties

The sleek, streamlined spaceship belonging to the Retrieval Team had the latest equipment, the finest computers that money could buy. All a pilot had to do was punch in the Universal coordinates for whatever planet they were being sent to, and the ship would be set down within five miles of the exact location. It was also equipped with cloaking, to avoid any confrontations with the native population.

The process was so well known and the ship so clean and new that it never occurred to anybody that something could go wrong. The Warden had watched as the coordinates for Earth were entered in, felt the stretching in his head that always accompanied a Spatial Jump, and then the ship had plonked down in what appeared to be a giant body of water. "Are...are you sure this is the right planet? I was given to understand that Earth has, well, earth. Land."

The pilot looked at the array of numbers scrolling up the computer screen. "All sensors indicate that this is the planet designated Sol 3, otherwise known as Earth to the native populace. Atmosphere is a mix of oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide, with gravity about the same as on Utopia. Population 4 billion." More info scrolled up, and the pilot pressed a button to freeze the screen. "Captain, could you come here, please?"

The captain entered the navigation room. "What is it?" The pilot pointed to a string of numbers, and the captain came forward, examining them carefully. A whispered conference between the two occurred. The Warden was able to capture a few words: "slight error, not my bloody fault, the thing never was tested for such large bodies of water, just get us closer to the Defect." The captain left, and the pilot began typing.

"What's going on?" The Warden asked. The pilot looked abashed.

"Well, it would appear that we've landed in the middle of what is known as the Pacific Ocean. It's a very large body of water, and it may take a while to get close to the Defect."

"How long are we talking? A day, a week?"

"Well, judging by the movement of the current, the fact that we have to maintain radar secrecy so we aren't discovered by Earthlings, and barring any other phenomena we may not be able to predict, I'd say about...a month."

"A MONTH?!"

"Just to get close to where The Defect might be. That way we can use our infrared sensors to find it. We run hotter than Earthlings, and this thing has a range of one mile. Then of course, there's the problem of subduing her..."

The Warden smiled grimly. "Let me worry about that when the time comes. Right now we just have to focus on finding it. And when we bring it back, I'm going to put that...thing someplace where no one can ever find it."

Doug was rarely flabbergasted to the point of incoherence these days. Being the universe had broadened his mind considerably, even if he was now back in the human body he had been born with. But now he gaped at Rob as his brain tried to process what his brother had just said. The words were in English, but they made no sense. "I'm sorry, you want to do what?"

"Have a dinner party on Friday. I figure we'd invite Linkara and his group, maybe The Snob, and Spoony. We haven't gotten together as a group in a while, and I think it might do you some good to have some...um...human interaction."

Doug glared at him. "By 'human', you mean that you think I'm spending far too much time with Serena." Rob looked down at the floor, not saying anything. Doug snorted. "Thought so. Yeah, God forbid I spend time with someone that makes me happy, right, Rob?"

Rob sighed. "Doug, trust me, nobody is happier than I am that you've decided to rejoin the living, but she's been here almost a month and you two practically spend your every waking moments together. . The only humans she's seen besides Linksano and Linkara are you,me, and that wrinkled old bat that runs the used bookstore. And don't think I don't know you hide her whenever Guy drops by."

"Would you rather my psychotic twin did something to her?"

"No, of course not! But if she's going to stay here..on Earth", Rob added, before Doug could raise any protest, "then she is going to have to learn how to act around large groups of people. Plus, at least with this group she won't have to hide her true nature."

"Fine, send out the invitations."

Rob grinned in relief. "Already done."

Doug huffed in annoyance. "You'd just better hope things don't backfire." A soft footstep made him turn, and Rob tried not to laugh at the way his entire body seemed to light up. "Hey."

Serena smiled and waved at him, the book she was currently reading stuck under her arm. Doug had discovered her love of reading two weeks ago and taken her to a store that housed more books than she had ever seen in her life. He had placed books in her arms until she couldn't see above the pile. She had been plowing through them at a steady pace, devouring tale after tale with the relish of a starving man being given an endless buffet.

Doug came over, gently taking the book from her and turning it so he could see the title. "Frankenstein, huh? Good one." Serena nodded in agreement. "Serena, um, some friends of mine are going to come over for dinner next Friday... Rob invited them, and well, you'd like them, I think, and I think they'd like you." She took his free hand in hers, tilting her head in concern. "Yeah, I really didn't want to, but Rob thinks you need to be more...um...integrated into human society. And we wouldn't have to hide your...species from the people who are coming, and at least you've met some of them. What could happen?" Serena chuckled. "I know, famous last words. We'll have to find you something to wear."

Serena examined herself in the mirror and mentally approved of what she saw. She was wearing a dark green backless dress that was narrow at the top then fanned out into a long, flowing skirt that reached the floor. She hadn't ever worn anything this nice. Oh, Doug had bought her some rather pretty dresses and skirts(she tried wearing pants once and found them too much like her prison clothes), but nothing quite like this.

She still didn't understand the need for undergarments, though. Doug, of course, was more than happy that she preferred to go commando, but Rob had pointed out that she was going to be gawked at enough, and did he(Doug) really want Spoony and Snob drooling over her when they discovered she was naked under her dress?That had cemented Doug's decision, and he reluctantly told her that she should probably wear them. She sensed movement and turned, smiling at a completely gobsmacked Doug.

"You...um...you look...incredible." His awestruck gaze took everything in, from the way the dress clung to her hips and brought out the unique color of her eyes, to the lovely curve of her breasts and the way the green of the dress emphasized the gold shade of her skin. "Everyone's here, and Rob sent me to fetch you."

Serena nodded in understanding and headed for the dining room. Doug followed, mentally willing his erection to calm itself. God knows he wanted Serena more than he had ever wanted any woman, and he was pretty sure they were...compatible, but she had told him just what happened to her when she was in that place, and the last thing he wanted in this world was to cause her any sort of pain. Not when she had taken away so much of his own.

Serena was quite happy to see Linkara and Linksano again, and the magician introduced her to two more members of his household, a singer he called Harvey and a young man known as 90s Kid. They had taken her being an alien in stride. "Not the weirdest thing we've ever seen, kiddo." Harvey had told her. "Hell, Linkara's got a spaceship."

Serena was pleased to realize that the group wasn't repulsed by her muteness.

The other two , a man with long hair and another clad all in black, were introduced as Spoony and Cinema Snob. They were a bit shocked at the whole 'mute alien' thing. Snob looked over at Doug. "So, Critic, what planet did she come from? Porn World?"

Fortunately, Linksano noticed the fury on Doug's face and intervened before The Snob ended up getting punched. "Actually, she's from a hellhole called Utopia."

Spoony laughed. "Must not be that bad of a place if all their women look like that." Serena growled in anger and shook her head before scribbling in her notebook and passing it over to Doug, who snorted with laughter. Spoony sighed. "Um, I do know how to read."

Doug bit back a grin as he handed Spoony the paper. "OK, fine, read this." Spoony blinked at the incomprehensible jumble.

'Garta helio Spoony heda Snob magaras,'

"The fuck does that say?" Snob asked, reading over Spoony's shoulder.

"Roughly translated, it means you two are childish." Doug laughed. "Serena's from another planet, why would her first language be English? That's Utopian. It's actually fairly easy to learn, once you get the basics. Serena's been teaching me."

"I just bet she has," Snob muttered to Spoony. Doug bristled, and Rob jumped in before any bloodshed happened.

"Hey, dinner's ready! Hope everyone likes linguine!"

"Captain, I've spotted land." The pilot pointed to a large mass on the screen. "Estimate we should arrive in about five days time, Sir. Should we inform the Warden?"

The Captain shook his head. "No, let him sleep. But I do have a concern." He leaned over and punched in a series of numbers. "According to the Warden, these are the coordinates to where the Defect Jumped from. The Prison Planet. But look at the Destination Coordinates."

The pilot looked. He blinked, then looked again. "There aren't any. Sir, the odds of anyone making it to a habitable planet without both Departure and Destination Coordinates is...it's impossible. By all accounts, it should have ended up floating in the vacuum of space. Instead, it..not only managed to Jump to a habitable world, but also to one where it could blend in with a minimum of effort."

The Captain nodded. "That's my concern. I'm wondering if perhaps...this isn't a Defect, but something else. Something completely new."

"Like what, Sir?"

"I don't know."


	8. Mating Rituals

Sounds of Silence

Characters:(this chapter) Serena, Nostalgia Critic, Linksano, Rob

Rating: R for the last bit

Summary: Critic has met the woman of his dreams. So what if she's from beyond the stars?

Chapter Eight: Mating Rituals

There was a shrill ringing sound drilling through his brain. Linksano grumbled and buried himself under the covers, hoping to escape the persistent noise, but finally gave in with a loud groan of exasperation. He fumbled for his phone, pressing it to his ear. "Yes, what?!"

"Linksano?"

"Yes, that's me! Who's this and why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?!"

"It's Rob. Actually, technically Serena is calling you, but I'm...I somehow got roped into doing this because, and I quote what she wrote: "I want to ask you a few questions without the presence of Doug. Some are a little scientific." Since I have pretty much no grasp of science, and you're the one mad scientist that hasn't tried, you know, killing any of us... also, it's three in the afternoon."

Linksano blinked and looked at the clock by his bed. "Yes, well, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions Serena might have. Let's see...obviously your home is out of the question, and Linkara's working on a review so his apartment will be crazy. Give me a moment to program in some coordinates and I'll beam you two up to Comicron 1."

Thirteen minutes later, Rob and Serena beamed on board Comicron 1, both looking around in slight awe. Linksano waved at them from the transport. "Welcome on board."

Rob whistled. "Man, Linkara told us he had a spaceship, but I didn't realize it was this...elaborate." Serena motioned for him to move along. "Yes, right. You know, I'm not as adept as interpreting your signs as Doug is. Give me a break, okay?" Serena held her hands up in a 'fine, whatever', gesture. "Thank you. What's your question?"

Serena took out her notebook and wrote, pen flying across the paper. She tore off the page and passed it to Linksano. Rob watched as he read, his eyes somehow widening even more behind the goggles. "Um...well...I...don't have much experience in...I mean..." The scientist passed the paper over to Rob.

"Really Doctor, what's so...oh. Umm..." Rob looked over at Serena, who stared back impassively. "I...um..." The two of them read the passages together, minds churning.

'I find myself feeling physically attracted to Doug. I know that we are sexually compatible, as human and Utopian anatomy is pretty much identical apart from perhaps blood color and maybe a few extra organs. On Utopia, when a woman is willing to have relations with the male of her choice, she goes through...not heat, but something called 'passionita'. It's different from heat in that I have full control over myself. I've begun going through it. What I would like to know is what is the accepted ritual for indicating to Doug that I wish to initiate sexual relations with him?'

Rob blinked and reread the paper. "Serena, I... are you asking Linksano and I for sex tips?! " A shrug and a nod. "Right. Well, um...I know Doug likes you quite a lot."

'Does he also wish to have sexual relations with me?'

Rob tried to form words. "He's...very attracted to you, yes. But I think he's afraid of...hurting you, after what you went through in that prison. And...he's been through hell himself."

'He's told me about the time when he was everything. I would never hurt him. But there's something else. Passionita is more than just physical attraction. We don't go into it unless the man touches our souls as well. I am not just physically attracted to Doug, I'm literally pulled to him.'

Linksano grinned. "Like a magnet!" Serena nodded. "If you go through this...passionita and do not have...intercourse, will it have a detrimental effect?"

'You mean will I die, like that silly Star Trek thing? No. I'll just go into extreme Heat, and trust me, you don't want that.'

Rob snorted. "You've gone through heat about four times since you moved in. Doug can just stick you under the cold shower like he always does." Serena shook her head and handed Rob another page.

'This is different. My body will, quite literally, heat up to the point where it is possible that I could combust.'

Linksano looked positively fascinated. "Really?! That is quite interesting to hear. Is it something in your anatomy, or perhaps a way of controlling the population, or perhaps.." Rob took a less scientific approach.

"Serena, are you saying that if you don't have sex with Doug, you'll explode?!" Serena nodded. "Man, I've heard of having the hots for someone, but I think this may be the first literal example." He looked over at Linksano. "So, you're the doctor, any suggestions for how she can...um...seduce Doug?"

"You're his bloody brother, shouldn't you know better than me the sort of...things he likes?"

"I try to make it a habit to not butt into the sexual lives of my brothers!" Rob shuddered to himself. "Not that I'd ever want to know the sort of shit Guy's into. That psycho would make the Devil himself turn white."

Linksano rolled his eyes. "Well, what about food? From what I understand, cooking a meal consisting of a person's favorite foods is a sure way to insure seduction. What's Critic's favorite food?"

"Cheeseburgers, but I don't think there's any way to make those seductive."

Linksano nodded in agreement. "What about asking Harvey for one of his records? Those apparently are able to make 'everyone melt', as per Finevoice himself. Might set the mood."

"Doug hates that type of music. Play that and it's a tossup whether he'll smash the record or throw it out a window."

"Well, then what about...?" Linksano suddenly noticed the distinct absence of someone. "Where's Serena? Nimue, have you seen Serena?"

 _ **Information: This unit received a typed order to return the alien being known as 'Serena' to the home of the individual known sometimes as Nostalgia Critic. This unit was also ordered to tell you that Serena will try her own approach to seduce the Nostalgia Critic.**_

Rob and Linksano looked at each other. "So, Rob, would you like a tour?"

Doug had been in a rather depressed mood all day. First, he woke up to find Serena gone, no note, nothing. Before panic could set in, he found a note from Rob taped to the fridge. 'Doug: Serena and I are going to talk to Linksano about some things. Don't worry.' That had started him on a different panic thread. Was Serena sick or something? But no, she had told him that their planets were pretty much the same when it came to atmosphere. Was someone chasing her, and she was going to Linksano for help? But if that was the case, why bring Rob and not him? Unless...he shunted that thought aside before it could take root and fester.

A strange sound made him look around. "Hey, where have you been?"

Serena wrote for a moment then handed him the paper. 'Rob and I went to speak to Linksano regarding human mating rituals. I think I may have flustered them a little with my directness.'

"Human...what?"

Serena shook her head in amused exasperation, walked over, grabbed Doug's shirt in her hands and yanked him down into a kiss that stole his breath away. His hands came up and grabbed her shoulders, and Serena growled in satisfaction as he kissed her back with equal fire. He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he slammed her hard against the wall.

Doug reluctantly broke the kiss, both of them panting. He nipped at her neck, and she sighed in pleasure. "God, I want you so damn badly..."

Serena moaned in agreement and pulled back so she was looking into Doug's eyes. The passion and love in them made her heart beat faster. She could feel her body heating up, and she whimpered, feeling herself being pulled inexorably towards him. Oh, how she wanted him!

Doug was the one to initiate the searing kisses this time, and as he kissed her and felt the heat of her body pressing against his, he realized that every excuse he had given himself for distancing himself from her was bullshit. She was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had ever dreamed of. She was his universe. He had never known just how much he could physically want a woman. His entire body ached with desire. "I feel like I'm on fire...you feel it too...God, Serena, I need you more than I have ever needed anything..." He briefly considered just carrying her over to the couch, but the thought of what might happen should Rob walk in and see them made him giggle inwardly. And he wanted to lavish her, show her just how much he loved her. "Wrap your arms around me, sweetheart. It'll make it easier to carry you to my...to our bedroom."

'About damn time', Serena thought as she clung to Doug.

They reached the bedroom, and Doug laid her down onto the bed, kissing her everywhere. He grabbed her dress and yanked it above her head, pulling it off and tossing it over his shoulder. "Have I told you before I love the fact you don't wear underwear?" Serena nodded and Doug grinned before giving her right breast a slow lick. "So hot, my love..." Serena groaned and grabbed Doug's shirt in one hand. With a growl, she ripped it off, sending buttons flying. Doug grinned wickedly at her and kissed her hard. Serena ripped his pants off, cupping his cock in a way that made him hiss. "Christ..." The rational part of his mind collapsed, and pure animal instinct took over.

Serena bucked and moaned as Doug 's hands and lips roamed all over her body, kissing, sucking, licking and biting. She kissed back, digging her hands into his back, leaving deep marks in his skin. He squeezed her breasts hard, taking them one at a time in his mouth and gently biting the nipple. His cock ached with the need to be inside her, and finally he couldn't take it anymore.

Serena's eyes flew open in a silent scream of pleasure as Doug slammed into her, burying himself in her fire to the hilt. She felt the heat running through her body, sending her to the pinnacles of pleasure. Fire, flame, love, desire, passion, burning, burning like the sun and she wanted more, she needed more, needed him, needed his love, his fire, and she poured her soul into the lovemaking, poured everything she was into him, and god she loved him, loved him with everything she was, he was so different from the stoic, bland men on her home planet, he was passion, and fire, and she loved him, loved him with all she ever was and would ever be, and...

White heat before her eyes, all over her body, and she was sure that she had entered Heaven.

Doug felt as if he had just competed in a triathlon. He was covered in sweat, his head was spinning, and he was sure that at some point he had blacked out from the force of his orgasms. And God damn if he didn't feel better than he ever had in his life. He briefly considered rolling off Serena, but the idea of even moving his pinky made him whimper. "Ohhh...god..." He sighed against Serena's neck.

"I love you, Serena. I love you so much."


	9. Satisfaction and Triumph

Sounds of Silence

(See previous entries for summary)

Characters:(this chapter) Rob, Nostalgia Critic, The Warden

Rating: PG

Warnings: None.

Chapter Nine: Satisfaction and Triumph

When Rob arrived back from his tour of Comicron 1, he found a shirtless Doug sprawled out on the couch, a languid smile on his face. He waved lazily to his brother. "Hey. Where've you been?"

"Linksano gave me a tour of Comicron 1." Rob frowned at his brother. "You okay?"

Doug stretched, then nodded. "Rob, I have just had the most mind blowing sex I've ever had in my entire life. I'm great. God, the things Serena can do...she does this thing with her tongue and lips that..."

Rob held his hands up in a 'please stop' gesture. "I don't need to know any details! Where is Serena?"

"Taking a shower. She should be done by now, though."

As if on cue, Serena came into the living room. Much to Rob's relief, and Doug's slight disappointment, she had on a dark red sundress. She walked over to Doug and laid next to him on the couch, gently kissing him before turning so she could look at Rob. Serena waved, and he smiled at her.

"So I take it you decided to take matters into your own hands?" A nod, and Rob chuckled. "I'm just happy that Doug's not moping around any more. Just promise me one thing, both of you." The lovers nodded. "Please, please...don't give me any details!"

Doug cackled. "What, you don't want to know that Serena howled when I..."

Rob clapped his hands over his ears. "No! I'm not listening! Not listening!"

"Or I could tell you about the way she wrapped her legs around me when I..."

"Enough!"

"I know! She does this thing with her teeth and lips that made me..."

Rob yelped and ran out of the room, hands still over his ears. Doug looked at Serena, a wicked smile on his face. "I wonder what made him do that." She rolled her eyes in affectionate exasperation and poked his chest, and he put on an affected look of innocence. "Me?" A nod and a grin, and Doug chuckled before kissing her. "You may be right." He looked into her eyes, his voice soft. "I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. What we just did, you know it was more than just physical, right?"

Serena placed her hand over Doug's heart, then took his hand and placed it on hers. She looked into his eyes, then mouthed the words he had been longing for.

'I love you too.'

The Warden was, at long last, feeling something besides frustration. Finally, things were starting to go right. This had been one of the most difficult retrievals ever. First, they had landed in the ocean and wasted nearly a month getting to land. Then, when they arrived on land, it turned out that they were an entire continent away from where the Defect had landed. Fortunately, the Retrieval Ship went much, much faster on land and they had crossed the continent in days, luckily avoiding any radar. But then the signal had completely vanished from Earth, only to reappear twenty minutes later. The Pilot had honed in, and The Warden was certain that in only a few hours time The Defect would be caught and caged. But then there had come a brilliant flash that fried the sensors.

Hours later, after the sensors had been repaired, the Captain confronted the Warden. "What in hell was that?!"

The Warden gaped. "Umm...she went through passionita. It's um...it's when...

The Captain rolled his eyes. "I know what it is, Warden. I was under the impression that it was strictly regulated in female prisoners. Wasn't she given a suppressant when she was admitted?"

The Warden lost his temper. "Yes, of course she was! But as I told the Council, and as I've told you numerous times, there is something about this one that is different! She is a mutant, a freak! The muteness, the hair color, the intelligence, not to mention that she Jumped here without coordinates!" He grinned at the Captain's look of surprise. "What, you think I hadn't figured that out for myself? I may not be as tough as you, but there's a reason I've been the Warden of the Planet for so long. I didn't get the job based on my good looks." He sighed, shaking his head. "Not that it matters. We'll be within range of her by tomorrow, and by the end of the week she'll be locked in a deep hole."


	10. I Can't Lose Her

Sounds of Silence Chapter Ten: I Can't Lose Her.

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, Serena, The Warden, Rob, Linkara, other characters

Pairing: Serena/Critic

Warnings: Implied Torture

Rating: Strong PG 13

Summary: Critic has found the woman of his dreams. She just happens to be from beyond the stars.

The Warden was giddy. At long last, the Team had found the Defect. It had embedded itself in the home of two Earth men and(much to the Warden's disgust) had established a physical relationship with the youngest one. It had even given itself a name: Serena. The Warden had shuddered upon hearing it. "The nerve of that thing, pretending to be worthy of a name. Any info on the human male?"

The scout that had gathered the info shook his head, confused. "Well, umm...there's some odd readings on him. He's definitely human, but there's something buried underneath. Something extremely powerful."

The Captain and the Warden exchanged glances. The Captain was the first to break the silence. "Do you think he'd be resistant to sedation?"

"Oh, no sir. Normal sedation would knock him out for a few hours. What I'm seeing, it's something that he's actively trying to suppress."

"And the other one?"

"No threat detected there. He also has had no physical relations with the Defect, so will no doubt feel no emotions about her recapture. My recommended course of action would be to sedate both the humans for ten of their hours. That will give us sufficient time to return to the Planet with it."

The Warden smiled evilly, his pale face lighting up. "Good. I've got special plans for that thing."

The Captain gave the order to land then handed out tranq guns to the team. "Remember men, this Defect is highly dangerous. Use the highest concentration of Calmative that you can without putting it into a permanent sleep. Warden, how long do you want it out for?"

"As I said, ten Earth hours should be sufficient. But even then, simple sedation may not be enough."

The Captain smiled without humor. "Don't worry, we've got The Cage all ready for it. Nothing gets out of that unless we want it to."

"Good."

Doug moaned in ecstasy as Serena nipped his throat, her sharp little teeth raking the skin in a way that made stars burst before his eyes. He gripped her thighs, gasping and sighing as his lover worked her magic on him. Christ, they hadn't even gotten undressed yet and already he was straining to be inside her.

In the week since they had become lovers, Serena and Doug had discovered that they had a nearly insatiable appetite for each other. Just a look from either one of them was enough to get them into their bedroom, clothes tossed on the floor as they took each other to Heaven and back. The other day, Doug had to physically and mentally restrain himself from taking Serena directly on the kitchen table, and probably would have had not Rob walked into the kitchen at the exact moment he was hiking Serena's dress up over her thighs. His brother had yelped in shock, covering his eyes. "Oh, GOD, Doug! We eat off that table!"

"I was just about to eat something off this table, Rob."

"NO! No, no! Bad Critic! No! No! Get...NO!"

Doug and Serena had looked at each other, trying not to laugh. "So would you like Serena and I to go someplace else?"

"YES! Anyplace but the kitchen table!"

Doug grinned wickedly. "Right. My desk it is."

Rob sighed. "Just so long as you make sure the camera's off."

"Oh, I dunno, it might get me a fuckton of hits."

"OH, GODDAMN IT!"

Doug was brought back to the present when Serena's fingers brushed against the crotch of his jeans. Her breath was hot on his neck, and she licked his pulse point with her tongue. "Fuuucck...Serena...need you..."

Serena unbuttoned his jeans and lowered herself onto him, eyes closing in happiness as his cock filled her. God, he felt so wonderful inside her. Her sex drive, suppressed for so long on the Planet, had come roaring back with a vengeance. A few times, she had been worried that she might be too much for him to handle, but much to her delight, he could easily keep up. She rocked her thighs, urging him deeper, her breath coming in small pants as she gripped him tight.

Doug sat up, pulling Serena into a bruising kiss, then fell back onto the couch cushions, watching as she rode him hard, her brilliant eyes gazing into his and a small smile on her face. He dug his hands into her thighs, bucking up into her warm, wet core. God, how he loved her.

His orgasm left him panting. Serena came seconds later, her entire body shuddering. She gave him a half-smile, then laid down on top of him. He draped his arms around her, running his hands up and down her spine. "You are amazing." Serena hummed against his throat. "My beautiful silent lady, my love...my angel...my savior."

"That is disgusting."

Doug and Serena jumped in shock. Standing in the living room, a look of complete revulsion on his face, was a tall, pale man with blue hair. He had the look of a bureaucrat, and was flanked by five very large men holding what looked like air guns. Serena pressed herself against Doug, whimpering in terror, head whipping back and forth. "Who the fuck are you, and how the fuck did you get in my house?!"

The pale man looked at Doug. "I do apologize for this, Earth man, but I can promise you everything will turn out for the best. There will be no lasting side effects." He nodded to one of the men, and he raised his weapon and fired. A small dart shot out, burying itself in Doug's neck. He gasped, then fell back, knocked out cold.

Serena growled in rage and launched herself at The Warden. "SHOOT HER!" Five guns fired at once, and Serena staggered, then toppled to the floor.

The Warden motioned for two men to carry her. "We're going to have to get her in the Cage quick. Her body will process the sedative in just a few hours."

"What about the two Earth men?"

"What about them? Come on, let's get off this planet."

Voices were drifting in and out of his mind.

"Doug?" Rob, that was Rob

"He's starting to come out of it. What is that thing, Doc?" Harvey? The hell was he doing here?

"Some sort of tranquilizer." And Linksano? What was...where...

SERENA!

Doug's eyes flew open and he began struggling against whoever was holding him. "Critic, calm down! You've been sedated for the past ten hours, you're going to be groggy." Doug looked wildly around at the men gathered around him. He gulped, trying to get the words past the lump in his throat.

"Where...where's Serena?" Silence as Rob and Linkara exchanged glances. "No..."

Linkara looked down at his shoes. "Nimue tracked her for as long as she could, but...we lost her in the Asteroid Belt."

Doug began panting in hysteria, shaking his head as he tried to speak through hitching sobs. "No. no, no, no, no, she can't be, no, god no, please tell me she's still here, please, she can't be...she..." his sobs choked him, and Rob came over, pulling his little brother into a hug. "I lost her, I lost her, I lost her..."

Rob shook his head. "Doug, you can be a real idiot sometimes. You think I called Linkara here just for the hell of it?"

Doug shrugged.

Linkara sat next to Doug, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Critic, what do I have?"

"Enough comics to cover Texas?"

"Besides that."

"You...have a spaceship."

Linkara grinned at the look of hope on Critic's face. "Exactly. So, let's go get your girl back."

The pain was starting to lessen. Serena curled herself into a tight ball, the cold concrete floor of her cell making her shiver. She had lost track of time. The moment she had been returned to this hellhole, she had been dragged into a wing that she had hoped never to see. The official name for it was Rehabilitation, but what it really was was a torture chamber. The guard in charge had strapped her down so tightly that she couldn't move, then waited until the Calmative wore fully off before starting on the 'rehabilitation', which consisted of inflicting steadily more powerful electric shocks that left her sobbing in agony. The guard had only stopped because she had passed out, and she had been tossed in a cell with a promise that the rehabilitation would continue the next day.

Serena's body shook as she cried, praying into the dark that somehow, Doug would find her.


	11. I Will Always Find Her

Sounds of Silence Chapter Eleven

Characters: Serena, Critic, Rob, Linkara, Linksano, The Warden

Rating: PG 13 for implied torture

Warnings: EXTREMELY Pissed Off Critic(and not in the funny way, either)

Summary: Critic has found the woman of his dreams. She just happens to be from beyond the stars.

Chapter Eleven: I Will Always Find Her

Serena squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering at the unholy glare of light that flooded her cell. She knew what was coming next, and she fervently wished that she could plug her fingers in her ears. But she was strapped tight to the bed frame, its cold, sharp metal biting into her skin. The guards had taken her clothes and "forgotten" to give her a prison uniform. Her body was a mass of gooseflesh, and what wasn't numb from cold was throbbing dully from pain.

The sound started low at first, a thrumming that made the bed vibrate, but it built up and up into a high humming sound that penetrated into her soul and mind. Higher and higher, until she was screaming in silent agony, writhing and twisting wildly as she fought to escape from the horrible screeching.

Then came the next torture. The temperature in the cell dropped even more, and Serena shivered so hard her teeth chattered. Her arms and legs felt like blocks of wood, and she could see ice forming on the walls. She panted in the cold, and the tears that poured down her face iced over.

"Okay, that's enough for today." The Warden looked in at the Defect. Two weeks of Rehab seemed to be making an impact. It no longer fought back, instead curling up on the floor of its cell and whimpering, or simply sitting cross-legged on the bed and staring with dull, beaten eyes at the glass. "A few more weeks of this and perhaps we'll be able to move you out of here into the General Population." The Defect gave no indication that it had heard him.

Serena pressed herself against the wall and sobbed, as much as from the pain and cold as from the ache of missing Doug. She cried herself to sleep every night, and every morning that she woke up and he wasn't there sent another pang of pain through her body. She hugged herself, hoping against hope that...but another part of her said it had been almost a month, his time. That she was foolish to think that he had any way of finding her, and if he did, how could he save her?

Linkara looked over at Critic in worry. Normally, the man commandeered every expedition they had gone on, making himself the de facto leader without so much as a vote or say so from the other producers. He made his presence known, and generally made sure that he was the center of attention.

But now he just sat there, eyes almost vacant as he stared past the window to the blackness of space. Occasionally, he would look away to listen to Linksano and Rob discussing where they were and how long it would take to get to where they needed to be, but then his attention-or lack of it-would return to the stars. He had hardly spoken a single word since they had left Earth almost a month ago.

Rob walked over to Linkara, following his gaze, and sighed. "Has he moved at all?"

"No. I'm really getting worried about him. Linksano, would you come here?"

Linksano joined them. "I'm going to guess this is about Critic."

Rob nodded. "Can you...you know, give him something? Or at least try to find out what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" The three men jumped at the sound of Critic's voice. Rob blinked.

"Doug, um..."

"Gee, Rob, I don't know what could possibly be wrong. That's a real puzzler! What could it be...oh, right. My lover has been kidnapped by sadistic assholes who imprisoned her on a hell world simply because she couldn't speak. A place where she was tortured, beaten, raped, and treated like garbage. She was forcibly dragged back to a world of people that don't even think of her as a her, but as an it. So, yeah, I'd say there's something VERY FUCKING WRONG!" He slumped against the chair. "I just...God, I want her back. I want her back."

Linkara gently squeezed his shoulder. "I know. We're close, though. Nimue found the planet that Utopians use for a prison. But there is one slight problem. Linksano?"

"Right! The prison planet, or just The Planet, as it is known, has an atmosphere that consists mainly of ammonia and carbon dioxide. In other words,"

"It's poison." Rob finished. "Great. Don't suppose you have any oxygen masks lying around?"

"You won't need them." Critic's quiet, determined voice made them all look at him once more. He took a breath. "Don't worry, there will be oxygen."

Linksano and Linkara looked at each other, puzzled, but Rob looked horrified. "Doug, you can't!"

Critic looked into Rob's eyes. "No. I can. And if it means saving Serena, you better fucking believe I will."

"Can what? Critic, what are you talking about?" Linkara asked.

"I'm talking about tapping into a part of me that I've had buried for a while now. It won't be quite as potent, since I'll retain my...human shape, but it should give me enough power to turn ammonia into oxygen."

Linkara's eyes widened. "You...you're going to use your Plot Hole powers? But I thought...they were gone."

Critic shook his head. "No, just suppressed. But it's been a long time, and this is probably going to hurt like Hell. How long until we reach the Planet?"

"About an hour. Can you...how far in range do you have to be?"

Critic stood. "I can do it now, I just need a picture."

"Nimue, bring up the Prison Planet on screen." Linkara watched as the image filled the screen. "Ugh. That's not a very friendly looking place."

"Hence why it's a prison, genius." Critic said. He took a deep, deep breath, closed his eyes, and went stone still. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes again. Much to Linkara's shock, they were a blank white. Critic walked over to the window and pressed his hand against the glass.

Linkara watched in awe as the muddy brown and reds of the planet below them slowly changed into deep blues and greens. He looked over at Critic, and saw that he was shaking, his entire body pale. "Critic?"

Critic broke contact with the glass and fell to his knees, panting hard. "I...I'll be okay. Need...minute. There's...umm...oxygen enough for...day, day and a half. Oh, god, my head..."

He swayed, and Rob caught him as he fell. "Easy, little brother. I've got you."

Critic smiled weakly. "Rob?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to get her back."

"Yeah, we are."

"Rob?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome."

Linkara spoke up. "I hate to interrupt this riveting conversation, but we've landed."

Critic smiled, and Rob felt himself shiver. "Doug?"

"Yeah?"

"Never, ever make that face again."

"I make no promises."

The Warden could hear strange sounds in the halls. He recognized the sounds of the guard's pistols, but there were other sounds he had no reference for. But then he heard a sound he did know. Footsteps. And they were coming closer and closer to his office. He quietly opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out his gun, sliding it into his lap and cocking back the hammer, then pointed it towards the door. A squeeze of the trigger, and the bullets would punch through the door like a battering ram, easily taking care of whoever was unlucky enough to be on the other side.

Before he could move his finger, the door was blasted off its hinges. The Warden dove just in time, and blinked up at the two men who walked in. He recognized the one as the Earth man who had been duped into a physical relationship with the Defect, but the other one, who was holding what looked like an old fashioned pistol, was a stranger. The Warden shuddered. How could humans stand it, looking so different from each other? That must have been why the Defect felt she fit in. "What in the name of Utopia do you want? Who are you?"

"Name's Linkara. This is Doug, or Critic, as we sometimes call him. We're here to...request that you return something that belongs to Critic." Linkara smiled, his pistol aimed directly at the Warden's head.

"I'm afraid I don't have anything that belongs to this gentleman." The Warden smiled, trying to avoid the furious gaze of the one called Critic.

Critic nodded, then reached down and grabbed The Warden by his shirt. He lifted him off his feet and slammed him hard onto the desk. The Warden struggled, and Critic's hand moved to his throat. "You struggle again, and you will regret it. Where is she?"

"I do not know what you are talking about!"

Critic reached into his back pocket and pulled out his gun, pressing it against the Warden's forehead. "I'm not going to ask you again. Where. Is. Serena." He cocked the hammer.

"Sere...The Defect?! That...thing is why you're here?! It's where it belongs, in a cell over in the Rehab Ward!" The Warden laughed. "Let me guess, it had you believing it was in love with you! You do know Defects can't feel things the way we do, right? They're not like us. They're low, despicable, vile..."

"Shut. Up." Doug was shaking in fury, and it was taking every effort to not pull the trigger and blow this asshole's brains out. "You...shut up about her."

The Warden blinked, then laughed again. "Oh, oh, this is too good! You fell in love with it! Oh, that's just priceless! It's an animal, you honestly think it returns your feelings? It's defective. It can't feel!"

"I said SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Doug reversed the gun and brought it crashing down on The Warden's face, breaking his nose. He raised the gun again and pistol whipped The Warden across the face, smiling sadistically when he heard his jaw break.

"Critic, that's enough!" Linkara ran forward, pulling Doug off the bleeding Warden. Doug growled and tried to break free. "Enough, you've done enough! We need to find Serena."

Doug nodded, then walked over and yanked The Warden to his feet. "You're going to take us to her. Try anything, and I will kill you."

Serena pressed herself into a tighter ball, barely aware of her surroundings/ The cold, pain, and hunger(for she had been given no food and very little water) had left her weak and dazed. She barely registered the sound of the door opening. She could hear footsteps, but couldn't move her head so much as an inch to see who they belonged to.

Linkara had seen some pretty bad things in his time-Eldritch horrors, Lovecraftian demons, Vyce, Holy Terror. But the sight before him was up there as one of the worst. Serena was completely naked, and what wasn't covered in blood was a mass of gooseflesh. She was curled up on a threadbare mattress, her eyes vacant. "Oh my god..."

"What...No." Doug stumbled forward, collapsing in front of Serena's bed. "Serena? Baby, it's me. It's Doug. Serena, please..." He stroked her hair, speaking in a low, pleading tone. "Serena, you can wake up now. I'm here. I found you. I love you. I love you so goddamn much. Please, my angel, look at me. I'm here. I found you. I will always find you. Please, look at me. Please, my love."

Serena could feel someone stroking her hair. She could also hear words...she focused every bit of her concentration on the words. They were...it was...oh gods, could it be?! She slowly lifted her head, forcing her eyes to focus, and what she saw made her heart start pounding.

Doug. He was there, right there, and she prayed that she wasn't hallucinating. She reached out her hand, and he grabbed it in his, and he was real, he was solid, she wasn't dreaming, and she fell into his arms, too weak to even hold him, but his arms came up and held her tight, and she sobbed in relief and joy.

She felt something on her back, and dimly realized that Linkara had draped his jacket over her. Doug kissed her gently, then looked over at The Warden. "Remember how I said I wouldn't kill you?"

The Warden nodded frantically.

"I lied." Doug pulled the trigger, and the Warden fell back, a bullet in his brain. Doug picked Serena up and carried her out of the cell, not even glancing down at the body. After a moment of silent shock, Linkara followed. Luckily, they met no resistance on their return to the ship.

The second they came on board, Linkara and Doug raced for the Infirmary. Linksano was there, and he leapt into action, examining Serena. "Evidence of torture, extreme cold, she's been starved, and she's lost a lot of weight. But I think with what we've got on board, combined with my skills and her resilience, she should recover by the time we get home." He looked over at Critic. "If you like, you can take the empty bed next to hers. I'm sure she'd like for you to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up."

Doug nodded, then leaned forward and kissed Serena on the forehead. "I'll be right here, my love."

"You found her." Rob said from the doorway, and Doug nodded. "Good. Now, let's take her home."


	12. Home Returning

Sounds of Silence Chapter Twelve

Characters: Serena, Critic, Rob. Linkara

Warnings: Fluff.

Rating: G

Summary: Critic has found the woman of his dreams. She just happens to be from beyond the stars.

Note: Most likely there will be one more chapter after this. Though I don't know if anyone is actually still reading it. Oh well.

Chapter Twelve: Home Returning

Doug lasted a grand total of five minutes before he was climbing into the bed Serena lay comatose on. It was a bit of a tight fit, but that only meant that he could pull her closer, wrap her cold and still body with his in an attempt to warm her up. He could feel the slow rise and fall of her chest, and Linksano assured him that, while slow, her recovery was coming along nicely. The doctor had spouted a bunch of scientific mumbo jumbo that made Doug's head spin, but the gist of the matter was that Serena would recover by the time they reached Earth.

Doug reflected that, under normal circumstances, being this close to a naked Serena would have his libido going into overdrive. But these were far from normal circumstances, and the only thing he cared about now was when would she wake up? He stroked her cold arm with the tips of his fingers, staring into her still face. "I really wish you could see the view from here. I have to admit, one thing I genuinely do miss from my time in the Plot Hole is the view of the stars and planets from up here. They're so much...more than they are when you see them on Earth. Up here, you can almost see them dancing. There's music, too, if you know how to listen." Doug began humming, trying his best to replicate a music more ancient than Time through his human lips. He was surprised at how much of it he still remembered. Words formed in his mind, and he sang softly. He had always prided himself on his singing voice. "Dance and spin and live and love, look you to us up above. Sun and stars and orbs and moon, know the dance is starting soon. Steps that come from beyond all Time, echo in this ancient rhyme. Take the hands of whom you love, look up to the worlds above, and we will dance and live and love." It was, he knew, not an exact translation of the Song he had heard and sung, but no human tongue could sing that.

"Where did you hear that song?" Rob had come in while Doug was singing, and stood in the doorway, listening as his brother sang. Rob had felt...he really couldn't describe the feeling. He had always known that Doug had a great voice, but he had never heard him sing like this, a soft tenor that sent shivers up Rob's spine.

"It's the Music of the Spheres," Doug said, looking over at his brother. Rob didn't understand, not really, but he nodded and came into the Infirmary, sitting down on the narrow bed across from Serena's.

"How's she doing?"

"Better. She was so...so cold when we found her. But Linksano says she should be okay." Doug sighed. "I just wish she would wake up."

Rob smiled in sympathy at his brother. "She will. She's strong. Doug...I never got the chance to say this, but...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything that happened to you. For the pains you had to endure. You didn't just take on the universe, you were the universe. I missed you so damn much during those few months. I'd look up, but I never knew if you were actually looking back down or if you were too busy running things to worry about your family. He'll deny it until the day he dies, but Guy missed you too."

Doug snorted. "Probably missed having his chew toy around."

Rob shook his head. "No, he really did. And ...I tried to explain to our parents what had happened, but Dad really didn't get it, and Mom...you can guess what she did."

"Crawled into the bottle?"

"Big time. When you...came back, she accused me of lying, said that I had made up this story to keep you away from her. I couldn't say anything, because I didn't know myself why things had changed." He sighed, running his fingers through his thinning hair. "I didn't know how to react when you returned. You were still my brother, but...there was something else underneath, something that scared me. So instead of trying to understand it, I kept you at arm's length. I should never have done that."

Doug sighed. "Rob, I wasn't exactly Mr Touchy Feely for a long time after I became human again. I had spent all those months feeling everything, so I thought that it would be better to not feel anything. I know how stupid that is, but I told myself that I didn't need anyone, that I'd be fine on my own." He chuckled. "You know how well that went."

Rob nodded, then reached across and took Doug's left hand in his right. "I will always be here for you, little brother. Always." He glanced at Serena, then back to his brother. "You really love her, don't you?"

"More than I have ever loved anything."

Serena could feel something warm and solid pressed against her. She slowly opened her eyes, the room she was in coming into focus. It was some sort of hospital room. She was pretty sure that it was on a spaceship of some sort, because she could see stars through the large window. Her mind, still sluggish from the weeks of torture, was slow to put together the pieces.

She was on a spaceship.

Something was in the bed with her.

She was warm(not as warm as she normally was, but not the icicle she had been)

Something was in bed with her...no, not something.

Someone.

Hardly daring to hope, Serena carefully turned around, wincing a bit at how stiff her muscles had become, and stared in incredulous joy at a sleeping Doug. She reached out a trembling hand and touched his cheek. It was solid under her touch. She knew where she was now, remembered that the human called Linkara had said he had a spaceship. Tears welled in her eyes. He had found her. He had...

Doug opened his eyes. He gaped at her, staring into her dark blue depths. She stared back, tears flowing freely down her face, and then they were in each others arms and kissing, their tears mingling.

Eventually, the need for air became paramount, and they broke the kiss, still staring into each others' eyes. Doug broke the silence. "Serena, I...I am so sorry." She tilted her head at him, puzzled. "I..it's my fault you got recaptured. I should have tried harder to..." He stopped, because she was shaking her head vigorously. "You promise you aren't mad at me?" She smiled and nodded. "Okay." He pulled her into a gentle kiss. "I love you, you know." She pointed at herself, then back at him. 'I love you too.'

"Marry me." Serena blinked at him in shock, her mouth open. Doug gently closed it with his finger. "Serena, we love each other. I want to spend my life with you. Marry me."

Serena nodded, then kissed Doug hard. He kissed her back, feeling happier than he ever had in his life.

"You want me to do what?!" Linkara gaped at Doug and Serena(who had recovered quite nicely, thank you).

"Marry us." Doug said, blithely. Linkara blinked at them both.

"I...I'm not a priest. Not even close to one."

Doug shrugged. "You're a captain, aren't you?"

"What does that have to do with...oh. Oh! Right! Umm...you do realize that this marriage won't be exactly..um...legal back home, right?"

Doug nodded. "I'll worry about the paperwork when we get back."

"Well, then, umm...we need witnesses."

"You've got one." Rob stepped onto the Bridge, grinning. "Well, one human one. Everyone else is sound asleep."

Linkara sighed. "There has to be at least two."

 _ **'This unit will be the second witness.'**_

"Thanks, Nimue," said Doug, then looked over at Linkara. "Your move, Hero."

"Right! Umm...dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to...umm..join this man and woman in marriage, which is great because they obviously love each other quite a lot, and they both deserve good things in their lives. I...do you have any rings?"

Doug shook his head. "I'll get them when we get home. Keep going."

"Right! Where was...oh, umm...Doug, do you take this woman to be your wife, to...umm...love her until you die?"

"I do."

"Great! Serena, do you...take this man to be your husband, and to do the same thing?"

Serena nodded.

"Then by the power vested in me as Captain of this ship, I pronounce you married. I think you know what to do next."

Doug grinned. "I certainly do." And with that, he dipped Serena and pulled her into a kiss so passionate her toes curled.


	13. And So We End This

Sounds of Silence Chapter 13

Characters: Nostalgia Critic, Serena, Rob, Malcolm, Tamara

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Summary: Critic found the woman of his dreams. She just happened to be from beyond the stars.

Chapter Thirteen: And So We End This

Doug stretched and yawned, then opened his eyes, smiling at the lovely sight of Serena lying on his chest. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, grinning as he recalled the night before. They had made love for what felt like hours, only stopping when neither of them could work up any more energy. After all, not only did they have to make up for the month they were apart, but they also had to celebrate their wedding night. And celebrate it they had.

Linkara and Rob had just enough time to offer congratulations before the newlyweds had practically ran out of the Bridge and to the room Doug had been staying in. Clothes had come off, and then there was...bliss.

Doug felt Serena stir. She murmured, then opened her eyes and smiled at him before kissing him.

"Good morning, Mrs. Walker." Doug said softly. Serena beamed at him, and for a few moments, they became lost in each other. Doug took her left hand, kissing the knuckles. "I promise, as soon as we get home, I am going to find you a ring that is as beautiful and unique as you are. God, I love you so much."

Serena nodded, happy tears in her eyes. She placed her hand on his chest, tracing the words with her finger. 'I love you too.' Doug pulled her down for another kiss, and she began sliding her hand downwards. He cupped her breast, and she moaned into his mouth. Doug gasped as her hand reached its destination and kissed her harder before sliding his free hand between them and stroking at a very sensitive spot on her body. Serena moaned happily, then positioned herself so he could enter her. Doug grasped her waist, staring into her eyes as she moved above him.

That was when the door slid open. "Hey, Critic, are you...OH GOD!" Linkara yelped at the sight before him. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry, I'll...umm...I'll leave you alone for a bit longer...um...BYE!" Blushing furiously, the hero backed out of the room and slammed the button to close the doors.

"They awake yet?" Rob's voice made Linkara jump.

"Yeah, um...they're awake. Very awake. If you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my eyes out." Linkara said before running off. Rob cackled, knowing full well what Linkara must have walked into. He had learned very, very quickly to always knock. There was nothing quite like walking into a bedroom in the middle of the afternoon looking for a shirt and finding your brother and his lover 69ing each other. (Rob was sure he had set some sort of land speed record running out of the room)

Rob knocked. There was a brief scrabble, then Doug's voice. "Come in." Rob tapped the button and walked in, relieved to see that a sheet covered both of them. Doug grinned at him. "Morning, Rob! How's Linkara?"

"Traumatized. But I think he'll recover." Rob smiled at his sister in law. How are you?" Serena gave him two thumbs up, and he laughed. "Glad to know that. Hey, umm..while you were...recovering, Linksano took some blood samples. He thought maybe it could explain why you're so...different from the rest of your...why you're different." Serena cocked her head at him. "Well, his explanation was kind of hard to understand, but the basic gist of it is that he thinks you may be a sort of genetic mutation. He found some things in your blood that points to you being, as he put it 'the next step in Utopian evolution.' It would go a long way to explaining things."

Doug frowned. "Yeah, it does. Guess in some ways, Utopia and Earth aren't all that different. We both tend to look at things that are new with suspicion."

Serena shook her head, then looked over at Rob, making writing motions. He shrugged. "Sorry, I don't have anything." She growled in frustration, wishing that she could simply say what she wanted to.

"Serena." She turned, grinning when she saw Doug was holding a beautiful leather bound notebook and pen in his hand. "I was going to give you this sooner, but..." He handed them over, and she kissed him before flipping to the first page.

'You are nothing like that. The whole time I have been with you, I have never been treated as a freak, a monster, or something that does not deserve to live. The fact of the matter is, you humans are so different from Utopians that I feel more at home on Earth than I ever did on Utopia. Surely you must have noticed the rather striking sameness between most Utopians?'

Doug nodded. "Yeah, I did. I also noticed how...creepily perfect the planet was." He shuddered. "Thank God Linkara elected not to land there. That sort of perfection just isn't...right."

"This coming from the ex-Universe himself."

"Which means that I know what I'm talking about."

Rob nodded. "Fair point. Anyway, I just thought you would be interested in what Linksano found. Also, we're nearly home."

Doug and Serena grinned.

Both Malcolm and Tamara had gotten used to weird things happening around their boss. When you had the sort of job he had, and worked with the sort of people he did, it was inevitable that strange things would happen. Hell, just the weirdos that somehow invaded his videos was proof enough. Life with the Nostalgia Critic kept you on your toes.

But nothing could have prepared them for this. Critic had called them both and told them to come to the studio, because he had someone that he wanted both of them to meet. They had agreed, and on the way in made guesses about who it might be.

"I think it's another producer," said Malcolm. Tamara shrugged.

"Yeah, but why ask us to come to the studio? Why not just point us to their videos?"

"Maybe he's doing a crossover?"

They walked in, and Rob grinned at them. "Hey guys. Doug's in his office. Umm..you might want to knock first."

They reached the office, and Tamara knocked. "Come in!" Tamara and Malcolm walked in, gaping at the sight before them. "Hey guys."

There was a woman sitting in Critic's lap. She had odd colored hair, dark blue eyes, and was wearing a light green dress. Even from where they were standing, Malcolm and Tamara could tell that the dress was the only thing she was wearing. Both her and Critic had identical smiles of contentment on their faces. Tamara was the first to recover.

"Uh, hi Critic. Who's your friend?" Critic's grin grew even wider.

"Malcolm, Tamara, I'd like you to meet Serena." He paused, then dropped the bombshell. "My wife."

"WIFE?"

Doug cackled at the way they both spoke in unison. "Yeah, wife. For...about two weeks now. I'm really, really sorry you didn't get to meet her before. I kind of kept her to myself."

Malcolm grinned. "That's okay. But how did you two meet?"

Doug and Serena smiled at each other. "Well, it all began in a place far from here..."

THE END.


End file.
